


It Takes a Village

by frnklymrshnkly



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, Joggers, Parenthood, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 21:23:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13256904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frnklymrshnkly/pseuds/frnklymrshnkly
Summary: The group chat log of Astoria Greengrass, Luna Lovegood, and Ginny Weasley, who co-parent their children and cohabitate with with Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy.





	It Takes a Village

**Author's Note:**

  * For [carpemermaidtales (carpemermaid)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/carpemermaid/gifts), [zeitgeistic (faire_weather)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/faire_weather/gifts).



> Enormous thanks to **unadulteratedstorycollector** for creating a space for more HP femslash!  <3
> 
> Also big gratitude to **aibidil** for the speedy beta!  <3
> 
> For **carpemermaid** and **zeitgeistic** , whose enthusiasm for my first bit of AGL was energising! <3

> AG: Lights of my life, Lily told me she needs a new pair of joggers for football practice. I’m in a Marks and Spencer amidst what seem to be joggers in every possible iteration of colour and design, including several I’m not sure are wearable by human beings. Help me.

> GW: What are your options? Can you send some photos?

> LL: Lily’s aura is yellow.

> AG: Gin, I wouldn’t know where to begin with photos. Luna, the only yellow they have is neon. It’s... jarring.

> GW: Lily would like neon yellow.

> LL: It’s a vigorous colour. Arresting. Lively and loud. Lily’s not worried about being jarring.

> AG: What about fit? There are heaps of designs. Really tight, really baggy. Some seem to go high up the waist, others low. Some are really low. I don’t fancy having Lily’s pubic hair on public display. 

> GW: I second that, Tor. I know we’re supposed to be the progressive, sex-pos parents, but fuck damn it, I’m only human.

> LL: Perhaps Lily shaves? Or waxes? Maybe there isn’t anything to display.

> AG: So definitely NONE of these “low-rise” styles, then.

> AG: I worry if I get these baggy ones, Lily will think I’m trying to police her body. 

> LL: You are policing her body. 

> GW: Luna, cherished lover of our hearts, we’re vetoing the pube pants. I can live with it, at least until she moves out.

> AG: I am glad we have a ⅔ ruling on this one, Gin. And, loathe as I would be to upset either of you on the afternoon before date night, I must say you’re really not helping me reach a decision here. I really want to get out of this shop. I’m lugging around 6 Waitrose bags!

> GW: Why do you have 6 Waitrose bags?!

> LL: Are they bags for life?

> AG: I asked Lily if she needed anything while I popped round the shops. Of course Luna. 6 years of your homemade stocking stuffers are hard at work here. Along with my arms.

> GW: I’m still confused. Why wouldn’t you go to M&S first, get the lightest thing, and THEN do the grocery shopping FOR A HOUSE OF 6 PEOPLE? 

> AG: I didn’t think I’d be facing 8 million different types of joggers! I thought it’d be a quick job!

> GW: Why did you even lump these 2 errands together?

> GW: Why didn’t you Apparate home in between? 

> GW: Anyway, clothes shopping falls under Harry and Draco’s parenting duties. Why didn’t you just tell them to get Lily’s joggers before they left for work this morning? Draco loves that shit. 

> AG: I can see that I misstepped in soliciting your help in this instance. I’m just going to grab the nearest pair of joggers, pay, and run away from here.

> AG: …

> LL: What is it?

> AG: … What size is Lily?

> AG: Hello?

> AG: These bags aren’t getting any lighter.

> GW: Cast a Feather-Light Charm.

> AG: I’m in a Muggle shop. I’m surrounded by Muggles.

> LL: Cast it discreetly.

**> LL has invited CM to join the conversion**

> CM: Hey Staz! L Driver says you need help buying joggers for Lilz. You’re in M&S?

> AG: Cormac! Circe’s healthy haunches! Help me!

> CM: First off, M&S products are made in sweatshops, so next time hit me up before you start shopping and I can send you some links for fucking dope athletic wear made in Britain.

> GW: Cormac, focus.

> LL: It’s important! That beautiful green wrap dress Cormac got me last year is made from recycled materials.

> CM: Textual fist bump, Moonshine. Back to Staz. You might as well use the time productively and do some bicep curls with the shopping bags. 3 per arm. Is the weight evenly distributed between the bags?

> AG: Cormac, I promise you are not endearing me to bicep curls. Just tell me what to buy so I can get out of here.

> LL: Upper body strength is very important for women, Astoria.

> AG: I agree! But not NOW!

> CM: Okay, let’s keep this simple then. Make sure you get black. Lilster doesn’t want to look like she pissed herself once she starts sweating.

> GW: I feel like you may have learned this from hilarious experience.

> LL: Please share your amusing learning experience with us, Cormac. We’ll laugh with you, never at you.

> CM: Well this was AGES ago, when I first started getting into endurance cardio.

> AG: CORMAC, I beg of you! 

> CM: Sorry Staz. Get some tight-fitting ones. L Driver told me Lil-meister wants them for footy, right? Those will be harder for cheating little fuckers to grab hold of. More aerodynamic for sprinting, too.

> AG: Got it. Black, tight, no pubes.

> CM: Pubes?

> GW: Astoria and I vetoed pairs that dip below the average pube line.

> CM: Ah. Bit controlling, that. 

> LL: I agree.

> CM: Aren’t you worried you’ll give her a complex?

> AG: We don’t plan on letting her in on our pube policing. What she doesn’t know can't hurt her. Luna, if she does develop a complex, Gin and I will take point on the sensitive chats.

> GW: Can I just highlight that Tor IS buying our teenage daughter a skintight pair of joggers right now… Doesn’t that count for something?

> CM: Something small, bro. 

> CM: Oh! Staz, while you’re there can you grab a pair for Maximus? He’s been a bit needy for parent-time since he moved out, so Ron and I promised to break out the Bedazzler with him. He wants “‘bootylicious’ in rhinestones across my fat arse.” We’re making it happen. 

> CM: I thought middle children were supposed to be most independent, but compared to Rose and Hugo he’s a fucking barnacle. I love it.

> AG: Sweet as that is, Cormac, put a pin in it until we’re done here. 

> CW: You’re right, Staz. Head in the game.

> AG: Thank you. Please just tell me what sizes to buy, for Lily and for Max, so I can get out of here.

> CM: Get a large for Lil’ Mx. Her thighs and quads are no joke since we started cycling together. That kid is fucking ripped. Extra large for my little gladiator. Oh! And if they have some with the patches of mesh on the calves and thighs, that’s right up his alley.

> LL: Thank you, Cormac.

> CM: Always in for a mission! Never leave a woman behind!

> AG: Yes, thanks for helping.

> AG: Eventually.

> GW: After insulting our parenting.

> CM: No prob. See you three on Saturday?

> GW: Like we’d miss Xena night. You charm the lagers cold; I’ll charm Draco and Harry’s mouths shut. They’re like a pair of school boys whenever we get to an Autolycus episode.

> AG: Cormac, ‘ta! Gin, Luna, see you soon. I expect to be greeted by helping hands ON THE DOORSTEP when I arrive.

> LL: Ask and it is given.

> GW: I’ll put a kettle on.


End file.
